Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Quote of the Day

"This change comes in a tea bag."

This quote is courtesy of RNC chairman Michael Steele. Stand alone, of course my mind went right into the gutter and I had myself quite the hearty chuckle, but Mr. Steele was referring to the Republican grassroots movement. Okay, my mind is still in the gutter and it's still a little funny. But apparently Mr. Steele was referring to those tea bagging hippies who reject big government every April and throw Tea Parties to protest having to pay taxes. I guess that's who the RNC is courting these days. But hey, if your government is doing something you don't like, you have the right to protest for change, even if you have to tea bag to get it.


Read more...

Saturday, May 16, 2009

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?

You know what really grinds my gears? When people ride the escalator all the way up to the tippy top. You know what I'm talking about? All the way up to where the stairs become flat and get recycled into the escalator again. It's like they can't be bothered to walk until the last possible second when they absolutely have to. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those annoying people who charge up the escalator at full speed, I enjoy the ride, but I will usually take the last 5-10 steps just to get the journey started. But sometimes this is foiled by the esca-rider who must squeeze every ounce of automation out of the moving stairs. When those annoying esca-bounders are flying by to my left I am stuck and must ride the ride to the tippy top, standing to the right for the entirety of my journey.

So to you esca-rider, move it or the top of the escalator will eat your shoelace.


Read more...

Friday, May 08, 2009

My take on Vegas and Atlantic City

This is my inaugural post and it’s about something that has been burning me since Harold’s birthday. Feel free to comment, and I am pretty sure there are many egregious English mistakes littered throughout so I pre-apologize.

Having returned from my recent trips to both Vegas and Atlantic City, I must say that I am slightly upset with the direction Las Vegas is heading. I don’t mean the large urban sprawl or the fact that they may run out of water in the next few years. I am talking about the half naked bimbo card dealers that are taking over the place. I know some of you would be surprised that Paddington Bear doesn’t want a half naked woman dealing him blackjack. I will get to my reasons soon enough. First let’s look at how this phenomenon is taking over. The first appearance and the only reason me and my group of buddies went to Hard Rock Casino was to check out these supposed barely clad dealers. Sure enough, when the sun went down, the bikini dealers took over the tables. Not only were they dealing the table games they also had pole dancers mere feet away. Now I won’t lie, I did enjoy this for a while and it was even better when we moved on to the PH (Planet Hollywood) which has what they call the “Pleasure Pit” where the poll dancers are even closer and the dealer wore even less. But I soon found this trend was taking over, Caesar’s Palace has the Pussycat Dolls dealer area and Luxor was installing a Cathouse dealer area. I am sure there’s more to come. So why don’t I like this trend? Because these great looking dealers don’t know how to be dealers, a good dealer will talk to the table and play up the cards. Not a single one of the “hot” dealer really interacted with the table. I split aces once and she just flipped the cards over, a good dealer knows how to build the anticipation and deal the card face down and come back to me last after I have sweated out a gallon of water wondering what cards are going to come up. Some of my favorite times at casinos have been with good talkative and entertaining dealers, mostly older women and chipper men.

So this leads to Atlantic City which doesn’t really hold a candle to Vegas, yet I didn’t see a trace of the half naked dealers while there. But I did manage to have a great time with normal dealers who knew how to play up the game. I forget her name but I played with an old feisty dealer in her sixties and she knew how to be a great dealer! I enjoyed Atlantic City and I think they are going in the right direction if they add some more updated casinos like the Borgata and say clear of the bimbo dealers. As hard as it might be to believe, if I came to gamble, I want to gamble, if I came to stare at boobs I wouldn’t want blackjack to get in the way of my boob viewing!


Read more...

Thursday, May 07, 2009

So the best thing to come out of the swine flu mass histeria shockingly enough came from reality TV. Coincidently, when the world was coming to an end Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt (collectively known as Speidi) from faux-reality show "The Hills" "fame" decided to put on a show and get married. And where did they decide to go for their honeymoon in the midst of all this swine flu chaos??? Cabo San Lucus, Mexico of course!! Yes, retards. Apparently Heidi was also shooting a music video (ya, she's multi-"talented"). Below is a picture of the newly weds enjoying the beach on their honeymoon.




What I love about this picture is the possibilities. Are they going to get surgical mask tan lines? There's no one on the beach, who are they going to catch swine flu from? At least they are protected from passing oral herpes to each other. And at least we are protected (at least momentarily) from the verbal diarrhea that inevitably is spewing from their mouths (not to mention Spencer's creepy flesh colored beard).

What a couple of cool looking idiots...


Read more...

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Only The Good Die Old



Bea Arthur

Dom DeLuise
















If Dick Van Dyke dies tomorrow I'm calling in sick.


Read more...

Craig T. Nelson is timeless

How delighted was I to hear that TV veteran and eternal “Coach” Craig T. Nelson was making a glorious return to prime time? The answer is very! Twenty years after the movie “Parenthood” (starring Steve Martin, Diane Weist, Keanu Reeves, Rick Moranis, and many others) was released NBC execs are making television magic with a TV drama based the dynamics of the dysfunctional Braverman family. At first my reaction was, “Really?! Wow, that’s kind of reaching, going back 20 years to get an idea for a show.” Until I heard those 3 magic words…Craig T. Nelson. My heart sank a little when I heard a couple of very distressing words, Dax Shepard, but I digress. Oh, did I mention that Craig T. Nelson’s character is named Zeek! Yes! It just keeps getting better! The Parenthood TV show does have a couple of other things going for it, it is being executive produced by Ron Howard and Brian Grazer. Craig T. Nelson demands the best.

So if Parenthood the series lasts longer than 13 episodes, welcome back Coach, welcome back.


Read more...