Gender

Thomas Beatie, click photo for article in The Advocate

I have always been very liberal with regards to gender and sexuality. No surprises to the Pardy I'm sure. I know that sexuality is a spectrum and we all fall somewhere on it. This sexuality is often innate, hardwired, or biological and can also be influenced by the environment. Gender roles are antiquated and old-fashioned for me. Sure girls can play with Barbies but they can also have have Tonka trucks. Sure boys can play sports at an early age but they can also play house or dress up. And I strongly believe that just because your DNA births you as a female, your brain can be truly male--or vice versa. Gender reassignment is completely fine with me. Why shouldn't your body match your self and social perception? Whether you take advantage of modern medicine have have the surgery to remove the offending parts is a personal decision. I say, go ahead. It would be weird to be a female but have a penis hanging between the legs.

HOWEVER.

How do I feel about a truly combined gender? Thomas, for all intents and purposes, has chosen to live his life as a man. He had chest reconstruction, testosterone therapy, married a woman, and lives as a man in his community. However, since gender status does not require sterilization he opted to keep his reproductive organs. His wife recently had a medical set-back that required a hysterectomy. The couple dearly wanted children and for some reason decided against adoption and decided that Thomas should carry the baby to term.

A male. Pregnant.

Why my mind rejoices at the thought of a truly genderless society, I can't help but be a tad angry. I immediately begin to think "men can't have babies, that's the thing we women can hold above them" or "you made your choice, I accepted it, now stick to it".

Will this couple be good, supportive, and nurturing parents? Probably. Will the child be confused about gender, sexuality, and what it means to be "female*"? Probably no more then every other child growing up in an increasingly open society.

What does this say about gender, gender roles, and sexuality? Could my visceral reaction be compared to the feelings of the homophobic people I so openly and frequent shun? I'd like to think 'no' because there is every evidence in the world that homosexuality is biologically based and has been present since the beginning of (wo)man and is seen throughout the animal world. Or is it just the idea that someday in the future XY males will be able to have children, then what would be left to set us apart? Should the genders be set apart?

As you can see I am grappling with a lot of questions (moral, ethical, liberal, legal, etc.). I would love to hear your feedback.



*A baby girl is expected July 3, 2008. Lets hope the proximity to Independence Day does not interfere in the naming process, lest she have a name like Freedom, or something ridiculous.