NDPB Asshole Rules

There have been several controversies regarding the rules of "Asshole"... the drinking game during parties in which a game was attempted to be played. Always there is a five minute dissertation to get the rules laid right, since its one of those games where everyone plays different. This will serve as the "OFFICIAL" NDPB rules for any parties in the future. This can be a living blog, and may be updated as we amend rules.



1. Home Rule- The Home rule states that whomever's house that the game is being played at is the automatic president for the first round. president is the only rank for the first round. there is no vice, and there is no asshole. This rule serves to create an authority for any rule disputes, and to keep the game moving.



2. Normal Play- During normal play, the turns should continue in a clockwise manner starting with the president, then the vice, all the way down the ranks until the asshole is reached. The President may open play with any card, or any card pair he/she may choose.



3. Doubles vs. 3 of a kind vs. single cards- Single cards may only be played upon single cards, and doubles on doubles; and so forth. A pair, or 3 of a kind can only be played at the beginning of play, or after any clear.



4. Skipsies- Anytime two same-ranked cards are played in succession, the next player is skipped. ex.- player A plays a 3, player B plays a 3, player C is skipped and must drink.



5. Drink!- You MUST drink when you can not play a card. If you can not beat the last card played by either a natural superior rank, or any trump cards, you skip your turn and must drink. also, if you are the victim of rule #4, you must also drink. These are basic drinking rules that can not be Vetoed. Even the President MUST drink in these situations.



6. Trump cards- In any NDPB game, both the 2 and the 4 are both special trump cards.

during any play, a 2 may be thrown to clear the pile. a single 2 may be thrown on any pair, or 3 of a kind.

A 4 may be played as a wild and at this time a social occurs... everyone must drink. play continues as if the 4 was never played, and the last card is still active. A four may be played after any pair or 3 of a kind.



7. Ranks- Only 3 official ranks exist in any NDPB game: the President, The vice President, and the Asshole.



President- Before the cards are dealt for the next round, the President may announce 1 new rule. most rules are allowed, but be reasonable. its supposed to be fun.

Vice-president- serves only to be a crony and has no real authority

Asshole- The Asshole is the most important role in the game. The Asshole always deals. The asshole always refills beers. The Asshole also clears the pile when appropriate.

8. The "Automatic Asshole" rule- Between rounds when the asshole is shuffling and dealing the deck, no one, not even the president may tell anyone to drink. Anyone telling anyone to drink is automatic asshole. Further, until the cards are completely dealt, the Asshole may tell ANYONE to drink, even the president.

It is common practive to use the "musical chairs" concept when sitting in ranks, with plush seating for the president, and degradeing seating as the ranks get lower, to possible sitting on the ice chest, or even standing for the asshole.

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New rules for the bar.

I built a bar on my porch at the beginning of the summer. And there is generally only one standing rule:
Patron is not the tequila you pour into the margaritas. there's Cuervo enough for that stuff.
However, last night, at my B-day party there were some things that kinda pissed me off with people behind my bar. No one poured good tequila into a juicy drink with an umbrella. but here's some new rules I am putting into effect for those of you who like to stand behind my bar. and remember, it is MY bar.
1. if you're gonna stand behind the bar to play bartender, play damn bartender. It's not just so you can look cool. If people tell you to pour them a drink, pour them a damn drink.
2. Keep the immediate area of the bar open. there's not a lot of room on the bar what with all the bottles of booze, so try to keep it open. This IS the bartender's responsibility.
3. See that little ice chest on the floor that says ICE ONLY!, guess what. Its for ICE ONLY! don't put your hands in there, or get ashes in it, I use that for cocktails. AND Damn it! its ice, global warming and all that, keep the lid on it, ice melts slower if you do.
4. You need to rinse out the shaker and shot glasses. notice at bars you pay to drink at the bartender smells the shaker? that's to see if its clean. He's trying to keep the vodka out of the rum drinks and vice versa. so rinse em out. Even if you have to walk them to the kitchen. It ain't that far. This is also the bartender's responsibility.
5. Keep the empties off the bar. This should go without saying, but it didn't last night, so now you get a rule.
6. The plastic cups in the plastic wrap. keep them in the bag. They need to stay clean so we can drink out of them.
I don't think these rules are out of line. You shouldn't either. If you do, don't stand behind my bar. sit out on the chairs provided. there's enough of them.

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