NDPB Asshole Rules

There have been several controversies regarding the rules of "Asshole"... the drinking game during parties in which a game was attempted to be played. Always there is a five minute dissertation to get the rules laid right, since its one of those games where everyone plays different. This will serve as the "OFFICIAL" NDPB rules for any parties in the future. This can be a living blog, and may be updated as we amend rules.



1. Home Rule- The Home rule states that whomever's house that the game is being played at is the automatic president for the first round. president is the only rank for the first round. there is no vice, and there is no asshole. This rule serves to create an authority for any rule disputes, and to keep the game moving.



2. Normal Play- During normal play, the turns should continue in a clockwise manner starting with the president, then the vice, all the way down the ranks until the asshole is reached. The President may open play with any card, or any card pair he/she may choose.



3. Doubles vs. 3 of a kind vs. single cards- Single cards may only be played upon single cards, and doubles on doubles; and so forth. A pair, or 3 of a kind can only be played at the beginning of play, or after any clear.



4. Skipsies- Anytime two same-ranked cards are played in succession, the next player is skipped. ex.- player A plays a 3, player B plays a 3, player C is skipped and must drink.



5. Drink!- You MUST drink when you can not play a card. If you can not beat the last card played by either a natural superior rank, or any trump cards, you skip your turn and must drink. also, if you are the victim of rule #4, you must also drink. These are basic drinking rules that can not be Vetoed. Even the President MUST drink in these situations.



6. Trump cards- In any NDPB game, both the 2 and the 4 are both special trump cards.

during any play, a 2 may be thrown to clear the pile. a single 2 may be thrown on any pair, or 3 of a kind.

A 4 may be played as a wild and at this time a social occurs... everyone must drink. play continues as if the 4 was never played, and the last card is still active. A four may be played after any pair or 3 of a kind.



7. Ranks- Only 3 official ranks exist in any NDPB game: the President, The vice President, and the Asshole.



President- Before the cards are dealt for the next round, the President may announce 1 new rule. most rules are allowed, but be reasonable. its supposed to be fun.

Vice-president- serves only to be a crony and has no real authority

Asshole- The Asshole is the most important role in the game. The Asshole always deals. The asshole always refills beers. The Asshole also clears the pile when appropriate.

8. The "Automatic Asshole" rule- Between rounds when the asshole is shuffling and dealing the deck, no one, not even the president may tell anyone to drink. Anyone telling anyone to drink is automatic asshole. Further, until the cards are completely dealt, the Asshole may tell ANYONE to drink, even the president.

It is common practive to use the "musical chairs" concept when sitting in ranks, with plush seating for the president, and degradeing seating as the ranks get lower, to possible sitting on the ice chest, or even standing for the asshole.

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Classic Natty Boh Commercials

Snappy jingle

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Beer

I hate Bud Lite but very much enjoy Budweiser and Bud Select. Miller Lite is the best of the big brewery Americans, champagne is delicious however I’m not a big fan of MGD. Coors Lite is a solid dude, but his older brother Coors is gross, the banquet beer not so much. Sam Adams regular is ok, though the Sam Adams summer brew is one of the very best beers around. Don’t much care for their other products and Sam Adams Light is one of the very worst experiences I have ever had.

I like what Pabst has done in buying out a lot of the local, cultural breweries. While you may just look like a redneck pounding Old Milwaukee’s or Milwaukee’s Best down, you feel like you have your own little culturally/historically significant brew when downing a Natty Boh or Rainier, even though the quality is the same. Of course their flagship is the blue ribbon winner and they just don’t give those away to anybody. Superfudge can write an ode to that one day perhaps.

Landshark is the best new beer on the market. Great for warm summer days at the beach. Its made by Jimmy Buffett so how can you go wrong?

Never have cared for the heavies. Strange though that I dislike Guinness and Bass independent of one another but together they are delicious in a Black & Tan. The majority of the other European beers I can’t get on board with. The Amazing Hobgoblin? Gross. Duvel? Not my thing. Heineken and Heineken Light however are excellent and especially good with steak.

Dig the Japanese beers. Dry beer is one of my niche likes. Asahi, Sapporo, Orion all great. Not a huge fan of the Chinese beers like Tsing Tao and Harbin, not really sure what they are going for with those.

Molson and Labatt’s are allright. Nothing really fantastic to say about them. Good winter brews.

The Mexican beers are almost all great with a few exceptions (Carta Blanca). Tecate, Corona, Pacifico, and Dos Equis are the best of the bunch. All however come with the special caveat that they are really best suited for drinking in the warmer months. Drinking a Corona in the middle of February just doesn’t do it for me. One notable exception to this is the Dos Equis brown bottle which is acceptable year round.

Don’t care for Red Stripe, but like the commercials. Pyramid is a great beer, especially the Heifeweizen, and its brewed in Seattle. Red Hook is also brewed in Seattle but I just don’t like it. Peroni is neither a rare and interesting Italian beer nor is it very good. Stop giving me bottle caps of it. Anchor Steam is highly overrated as is Blue Moon. Some of the Fat Tire brands are decent enough but not all. Cave Creek Chili Beer is a favorite among Fudge and Fudge alone, the Fudge stands alone. Fosters by itself is not that good, in the oil cans its great however I have received a hangover after every night drinking them so I have backed off.

My god, its Friday thank the lord.

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