New rules for the bar.

I built a bar on my porch at the beginning of the summer. And there is generally only one standing rule:
Patron is not the tequila you pour into the margaritas. there's Cuervo enough for that stuff.
However, last night, at my B-day party there were some things that kinda pissed me off with people behind my bar. No one poured good tequila into a juicy drink with an umbrella. but here's some new rules I am putting into effect for those of you who like to stand behind my bar. and remember, it is MY bar.
1. if you're gonna stand behind the bar to play bartender, play damn bartender. It's not just so you can look cool. If people tell you to pour them a drink, pour them a damn drink.
2. Keep the immediate area of the bar open. there's not a lot of room on the bar what with all the bottles of booze, so try to keep it open. This IS the bartender's responsibility.
3. See that little ice chest on the floor that says ICE ONLY!, guess what. Its for ICE ONLY! don't put your hands in there, or get ashes in it, I use that for cocktails. AND Damn it! its ice, global warming and all that, keep the lid on it, ice melts slower if you do.
4. You need to rinse out the shaker and shot glasses. notice at bars you pay to drink at the bartender smells the shaker? that's to see if its clean. He's trying to keep the vodka out of the rum drinks and vice versa. so rinse em out. Even if you have to walk them to the kitchen. It ain't that far. This is also the bartender's responsibility.
5. Keep the empties off the bar. This should go without saying, but it didn't last night, so now you get a rule.
6. The plastic cups in the plastic wrap. keep them in the bag. They need to stay clean so we can drink out of them.
I don't think these rules are out of line. You shouldn't either. If you do, don't stand behind my bar. sit out on the chairs provided. there's enough of them.

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Married Life

I've been married a month and a day now.
As a young girl struggling with my sexuality and other issues, I never gave much thought to marriage. I never thought about what my wedding would look like, or what my kids names would be, or even what my future partner would be like. But somehow, getting married was just suddenly the right thing to do. Sure, I thought about the consequences and the responsibilites, but what it ultimately came down to is that for the first time in my life I began to plan for a future that included someone else. I was choosing schools based on proximity of my boyfriends children, analyzing the strength of the city for potential careers for him, and I was concerned with the amount of money he would spend on gifts for me. (Believe me, I never imagined I would have to ask a man to STOP buying me flowers!!)
So now I'm married. And nothing has really changed. We still love each other in that funny little way that we do, we still argue over little things, and support each other over the big things. The only difference is that we have committed to work everything out to the best of our ability for the rest of our lives. But really, if you are dating someone and you can see the end...why continue to date? Unless of course, you are being completly honest with yourself and know that you are dating for sex, money, or free rides at Dorney Park, then eh..let it ride!
The only complaint so far is the name chaging process. What a pain. Ladies, unless you plan on having kids there is no reason to change your name. Honestly.
And the worst part is the built in sexist history to the whole process. For me to change my name to Jennifer Marie-Juergensen McGee, I just had to fill out a few papers and run all over town waiting in lines to drop them off. For Corey to change his name to Corey Michael-Juergensen McGee (Note: just his useless MIDDLE name) it will require a trip to a court house, some fees, then he'll have to fill out the aforementioned papers and run around town dropping them off.
so anyway, now armed with a new identity I am ready to...fight?conquer?...nah. Live my life the same way I always had but with a sexy husband by my side.

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A P.M. in the AM

One of the coolest places in D.C. is Adams Morgan. The great thing about Adams Morgan is that it's like Georgetown, without actually BEING Georgetown. On any given night in Adams Morgan you can see people dressed tot he nines trying to get into exclusive clubs along with frat boys in shorts and flip flop sandals. The appeal being that in one four block radius, you can find dive bars sharing the same walls with these mega-clubs with exorbitant cover charges and selective entry that have been the rage as of late. All along 18th and Columbia NW, the old converted row houses are peppered with bars, clubs, and fast food carry-out mom and pop shop restaurants that stay open later than the clubs, so partiers can have something to fight back the munchie monsters that usually come on after a long night of drinking, dancing, and other debauchery that happens in places like these.

Adams Morgan has long been a big Latino neighborhood, mostly central American nationalities like Guatemalans and Salvadorian. That being the case there are many slsa clubs drawing more people in. herein on of these places, called Habana Villages we set our tale.

I got there after work and met up with some new friends of ours. It was hot outside, and even hotter in the small crowded discotech. I needed something refreshing, Mojito was all I was thinking. A drink called almost too refreshing by Ramona, it was right on time for me. It was a bit full of the mint leaves, and I spent quite a lot of time either checking to see if i had leaves stuck in my teeth, or actually trying to pick the leaves out. I wasn't at all int eh mood for beer, which is odd for me, or other mixed drinks. I did try a Chivas and coke,, but it DEFINITELY wasn't what i was looking for. After the club kicked us all out, we went to probably the GREATEST reason for a night out in Adams Morgan. Jumbo Slice.
Jumbo Slice is a giant slice of pizza that can only be bought by the slice. choices include pepperoni, and cheese. They call it Jumbo slice because it is. the slices don't fit on the standard paper plate. it takes two. its infinitely greasy. and the most delicious thing at that time of night. By this time, the metro was closed and i slept on a friends couch. I fell asleep with a full belly, and dreamed of Ramona.

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WORK SUX

I know what you're saying:

"Welcome to the work force superfudge. That's why it's called work, and not fun time."

But i have a VERY unique situation as to why, currently, work totally sucks ass. I haven't had a day off in three weeks. I know what you're saying. "you must be getting overtime through the nose." sadly, I'm not, one of the downfalls of being a federal contractor. All they can do is promise me time off later. which is lame. coming to work and hearing people say things like:
what are you doing this weekend
One more day left
i cant wait for tomorrow
I had the raddest party last weekend
Did you see the latest movie out in theatres
These are all totally disheartening. I cant stand coming to work right now. I'm totally on edge and have become quite easily irritated. I get annoyed at the drop of a dime. fuckin' dimes, why they always gotta be dropping. anything and everything that pisses me off normally, drives me crazy right now. Ramona has been very understanding as of late because of this and she's been a lifesaver several time over recently. But this shit sucks. I want to be able to stay at home and sleep, not worry about having to go to work in the morning, not worry about nothing but ME. and i know this sounds selfish, but not has been looking out for ME lately, and its time for some ME time. so work sux.

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"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" does not apply anywhere else!!

So this is what I'm sick of hearing, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" used at any place in any situation when someone does something dumb. It's clever in Vegas cause it's Sin City and it's a license to get drunk and crazy and lose all your money, plus the ads are funny. But just because it might be true in Vegas doesn't mean that it's true everywhere! Whatever happens outside Vegas...will be told to everyone with exaggerated detail the next day if not the same night. Plus, it just shows a lack of imagination.

Disclaimer: This is not meant as a passive-aggressive dig at anyone, I watch way too much TV and am sick of hearing it!! So warning to friends: if you say this outside Vegas, I might go off

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The Funniest Comic

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