I'm Green With Envy

Its a conspiracy. I really believe so. Why is there always a ratio of 2:1 Green Line trains to Yellow Line trains at the L'Enfant metro station?

It never fails. Every time I go home from work I look up at the sign and lo and behold all I see is:

GRN Branch Ave 3
GRN Branch Ave 7
YLW Huntington 12

In addition to this the single yellow line train that actually comes is always a 4 car train, while the green line trains are 6 car trains. This wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't for the fact that the green line trains are almost universally empty while the yellow train is packed to the gills.

I mean seriously WMATA, is there that much demand to go on the Green Line Ghetto Tour that you need to run two 6 car trains per every 1 4 car yellow line train? Even the most amateur of urban planners can tell that at rush hour traffic more people are going to be coming from the city going to the suburbs of Alexandria and Arlington. They will probably not be going to U Street, Prince Georges Plaza or West Hyattsville.

I don't get it and I never will, and every afternoon when I'm sandwiched between two fat smelly guys I wonder just who the hell designed this schedule.

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Things I've Overheard

Recently I was at a party. Being the social butterfly I am I overheard some awesome things, that must be repeated. While none of them are brilliant thoughts or Confucian wisdom, I thought they were funny to have heard because soemone actually said these things. discuss:

1. It's one thirty in the morning. I am not nearly drunk enough
2. but theyre in the way. <--- this was said while playing shuffleboard, in which pucks being in the way are pivotal to the game.
3. Youre drinking beer out of a can?
4. Do you have any good music? <-- This was said to the DJ, who played alot of crappy music.
5. Hey the black guy won. <-- this was referring to a game of connect four in which much battling was going on, but the person with the balck checkers had already got connect four,a dn failed to see it

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Opening Day

Remember back in grade school during P.E. class they taught you a version of baseball that all kids could play, and understand, but few would completely and totally master? We called it kickball. Fast forward 20 years and I find myself involved in the very same league. Competitive league adult kickball. Think "beer league" in softball. we have been waiting for this day for months now, got a full team created and now, for the first time:
Nancy Drew and the Pardyboyz Kickball team. I know what you're saying... haven't you guys been playing for two season now? the answer is yes, but never been OUR team, we were just a small group attached to some other team. So, last Saturday, on tenth anniversary of WAKA Kickball, we had our inaugural opening day.
It started out great, donning of the new team uniform. White on Spruce Green Shirts look great and match the sweet new hat I had done by Lids.com
Our fielding was pretty shut-down defense as we let no runs score for close to three of five innings. Our offense was nowhere to be seen however as anything that left the infield was quickly gobbled up by their center fielder. this reporter was disappointed to pop out to the pitcher and hit a grounder to their third baseman, downing one of our runners int he later innings. While we closely rallied in the bottom the fifth, with two runners on and two outs, a pop up to the pitcher ended our day early and sent us to the bar. All-in all, 3-0 wasn't bad for a team that last year was losing to much higher scores, even getting run-ruled a few times.
the flip cup however, was another sad situation as on of our veteran flippers refused to play and rules that I was used to from previous season were not the rules we play by now in this league.
On a best of five run, we lost five straight, and did not even compete for a win once. Being a drinker that is used to dominating others in competitive drinking games, it was depressing to not even get a chance to flip in a winning situation once. All-in all, It was a bittersweet day, for ND&TPBZ, and we retired early from the public eye to lick our salted wounds in some bitter brew. See you next week, and here's to hoping its a better one.

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Probably worst than we thought

The Nats Suck.
Whats worse, is they are far exceeding the level of suckage i thought they would be at. Wheres the hustle out there? I have seen balls drop in for extra bases against the nats that should have been caught, but they just didn't want to run to catch it. Also seeing base runners pull up well short of the base they're running to. cutting short what should be hits for extra bases into nothing. Most of the problems are all baseball fundamentals. Stuff that would get you benched in Little league(which is my favorite heckle now BTW) for screwing up. Stuff that Frank Robinson wouldn't put up with. Watching Livan Hernandez throw a no-no into the sixth on Sunday was awesome too. That was good move to let him go away. I almost wanted to see the no-no after watching the nats do a half-ass job. They weren't even trying to swing the damn bat half the time. Playing what, two rookies in a starting lineup? is a good idea too. long time vets that we had like Alfonso Soriano were waaay overrated i suppose. How did we not even try to trade to get something for him? Is it just me, or does Belliard just LOOK slow and sloppy. Bellaird has no head for second base. He's too damn slow. I mean, remember when Vidro had second on lock down? remember when our defense was actually solid? Our defense is like swiss cheese nowadays. Isn't this the natiaonl league? Isn't this supposed to be the league of low scores and great defensive baseball? The third base coach is killing us. Not sending runners, holding runners at their base, not making runners tag up and run. Man, I do a better job at Third base coach in kickball than this dude does in the major leagues. Why is no one swinging the bat? how many strikeouts did I see where guys watched pitches go by deep into the count, then swing at garbage to hit a foul ball to keep them at the plate? SWING THE DAMN BAT!

Look, Manny Acta, I refuse to call you coach. Frank Robinson was a coach that knew the game of baseball and the strategy involved. When you earn the coach title from me ill call you coach. until then I call you Manny.
I can play second base, but I'm better in the outfield. I can steal bases and know when to run. I offer up my services to the nationals either as third base coach or at second base. last name is Bland, and I like the number 34. Ill be sitting in the 500 sections where kids don't sit so I can cuss you out Manny. I'm ready to play. DO SOMETHING. YOUR PLAN IS NOT WORKING

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This bar SUX

So yesterday we go over to help Harold and Chrissy move into their new place across from Pentagon City mall. its a pretty sweet corner apartment overlooking Pentagon row. After all the moving, we decide to go to the food court and get some grub and check to see if Champps is busy for the college games yet. An incredible boon happens and tehre is a large table for all of us, and hose who are planning to meet us later (encycloperida red ,and a few others). One razy friend of ours decides that going up to G-town would be a great idea to watch G-town play.
Are you kidding me? georgetown is going to be standing room only, you wont be able to ge a beer, and you really want to party with those yuppie kids that shop at J. Crew and Ambercrombie? Polo shirts with popped collars? That not my scene and neither should any of my friends' scene be that way.
So luckily, he decides to stay and sit at this prefectly huge table and be waited on by a good waiter named shane. we ran a HUGE bar bill but otherwise had a kickass itme. and georgetown lost so it pretty much meant that I had a good time.
Afterwards, we decide to go to a bar that i had saw from Harold and Chrissy's apartment. Now generally, i am pretty good at finding bars regardless if its a bar or not. Now bear with me. this gets good.
Now i've been tellign everyone wwe need to check out this bar that I saw from the window. the tenth floor window. Easily enough, I persuade everyone to follow my lead.
Now which abr is this? encyclopedia asks.
See that DB right there?
yeah, its where I baought my jeans.
Umm, excuse me, where you bought your jeans?
yeah its called denim bar.
Right, but its not a bar? thats crap.
Thats not fair, anythign called "____ bar" should be a bar.
I had eight people followiung me to a Jeans store?!?!??! Fuck.
Denim bar, you assholes, you suck.

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AND another thing

I was reading my previous blog, because I'm narcissistic like that, and I was thinking...
"ain't that some shit."
See, i was was walking down Pennsylvania the other day with Ramona , and we were walking behind these two la-la-la girls. You know the type. Their current events usually come from the pages of magazines like Us, and People weekly. Their outfits are straight from the pages of Cosmo and Vogue. Sex and the City was for them, a piece of great Americana. Their sunglasses are slightly smaller than the windshields on a city bus. you know the type.
At any rate they were talking, and in mid-sentence this girl stops what she's saying, looks around, and very quietly continues to describe the person she was talking about " a black girl".
I looked at Ramona. she looked at me
"did that shit JUST happen?" she asks me
"holy shit, it did."

Which brings me to my point. why
Why is it when people tell off-color jokes, or just make a comment for that matter, they look around? As if it were not safe to speak of such things. I'm not just talking about inappropriate jokes. I'm like, talking about the guy at work who is **looks around** a black guy. I wasn't saying anything bad. I just had to look around to see if it was safe. People nowadays will look around to finish a sentence more than they will look both ways to cross the damn street!
Which brings me to my second point. why not?
Why does no one do this when saying something completely inappropriate about a Hispanic person? are we not the people from Scarface, MS13, American Me, the fuckers who make your Chipotle burritos delicious? We invented the fucking Colombian necktie and the Cuban cigar fuckers. You better start looking around before you start telling jokes about immigration and migrant farm workers. we get stabby assholes.
All I'm saying is why is that people will get all scared to say the word "black person"? but have NO PROBLEM telling a wetback joke? that's garbage.
Orele Holmes.

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