They Make It So Easy

Fox News make me laugh. The fact that I subjected to it 8 hours a day against my will has certainly turned me somewhat loopy I'm sure. I don't think they intend to be comedic. Judging from the tone of their anchors, programs, and bumper vignettes It would appear to me they would rather scare you than amuse you. I however am endlessly amused by them.

The Dixie Chicks won 5 grammys last night. I am not really a Dixie Chicks fan and I don't really have a take on their worthiness of a grammy or not. Fox News however does. Watching the morning mutual masturbation Fox News show "Fox & Friends" this morning, I could tell someone at FNC was none too happy about the "communist" Dixie Chicks winning. They went on and on, making sarcastic references and comments as they are apt to do on that show. They of course then decided to tear down the grammys as well, pointing out that Jimmy Carter won "Best Spoken Word" album and how that proved a vast left wing bias.

Here is what I just don't understand. Who gives a shit? Who cares if the Dixie Chicks won 5 grammies? Is that really the problem with the country? The Dixie Chicks? You would think the giggle gang on Fox and Friends would have better things to rant against then the Dixie Chicks. Of course straight, just the facts relevant reporting is not exactly something Fox is known for. So if you ever want to find out the real threats to America, just turn on Fox News and you'll find out which actor or singer is going to be our downfall.

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Shocked? No, Not Really...

It's very interesting watching the media cover this story of Anna Nicole Smiths death. The continuing theme that I am picking up on is a sense of surprise over this. The question I ask is why?

For many years all the evidence and all the coverage of Anna has shows somebody who was definitely on some sort of illicit substance. Yet, it was always only hinted upon, and those closest to her never came out and said anything or much less did anything to fix that. It was like watching a trainwreck, and in the end, yes the train derails. Her reality show a few years back showed a woman who was very much in the depths of drug and alcohol addiction, yet it was played up as a farce and something to laugh at. Those around her were the biggest enablers on this problem, and also the most aware of a problem. Yet, they did nothing, because the strung out and drunk Anna were the keys to the money car. It should come as surprise to no one, especially those guilty in watching this happen with front row seats, that she died in this way.

The second point on this is the sudden outpouring of affection for her. Why is it that when someone dies, that they suddenly become "great people" or their accomplishments are lauded. Yet, while alive they were the laughing stock of most of the media and public. Its the elephant in the room of celebrity. You look at bands like The Doors, Nirvana, and Sublime. These guys while certainly good and successful while they were alive have achieved an almost godlike persona in the media. Its like because they died young and in their prime that they are untouchable. I am sure the same treatment that has been given John Belushi, Chris Farley and Bill Hicks will be given to Anna. I guess you can never criticize a dead person.

While certainly a tragedy that anyone dies for any reason, this death should not come as a shock to anyone who has been familiar with her life in the past decade. It should more be used as a lesson of not only the dangers of over abuse of substances, but a lesson to those around such people. If there were more personal responsibility and care for these people by their entourage, then they might still be alive. Oh yeah, but that might stop the money train from pulling in to the station.

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National Disgrace?

I am a Washington Nationals fan. There, I said it. Saying that out loud is something akin to shitting yourself in public. Half of the people run away from the stink and bile, the other half laugh at you as you sit in your own filth. Being a National fan is like being a baseball pariah, never expect to be taken seriously.

This years team should go a long way towards continuing that feeling. Much like standing around wallowing in your own shit, watching this team this year will be an uncomfortable and probably rather smelly experience.

The offseason saw the Nationals lose many players ranging from all-star to decent role players. Alfonso Soriano, Jose Guillen, Jose Vidro, Livian Hernandez, and Tony Armas, Jr. will all be suiting up with different clubs this year. The Nationals made no moves of importance this offseason and seem to be rather happy with what they will be trotting out there this long, hot summer. Nick Johnson (1B) is coming off of a very serious injury and is questionable if he can still play well. Felipe Lopez (2B) is being moved over to an unfamiliar position and already was a defensive liability to begin with, his bat is average at best. Cristan Guzman (SS) is coming off a season ending injury last year, while good when he played for the Twins, the last time we saw him play for the Nats he was struggling to maintain a .160 average. Ryan Zimmerman (3B) is perhaps the only promising player in the lineup this year, he put up rookie of the year type numbers last year and looks to improve on that this year. Brain Schneider (C) is still a very good defensive catcher but is no great shake at the plate. The outfielders are a mix and match of career minor leaguers and journeymen, I don't expect much to come out of them this year.

If possible the pitching situation may be even in more dire straits, and yes, money for nothing is exactly what the Nats are getting out of it. John Patterson is perhaps the only legit starter, though he struggles at times and on a good team he would at best be a third starter. The rest of the rotation is guys you have never heard of and I expect the rotation will change many times throughout the season. The only bright spot is perhaps the bullpen. With the return on Luis Ayala and Ryan Driese the bullpen looks like it could maintain fairly well, especially if Cordero plays as he did in 2005.

Overall, don't expect much out of these guys this year Nationals fans. The final year at RFK will be much like the first two, lots of losses but a pretty damn fun time nonetheless. The only pieces of advice I have for the 2007 Nationals season is wear a diaper and always bet on Abe to win the races.

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96 Hours of News

I just got through watching a "breaking news" story on Fox News Channel about an airplane with its landing gear up. This "story" involved a good 20-25 minutes of watching a small airplane fly around burning its fuel and then landing. That’s it.

I don't seem to remember this being news back about 10 years or so ago. Now, in our world of 24 hour news coverage I ask, what is really news? Do we really need 4 separate 24 hour news stations? Is there really that much interesting, newsworthy things happening in the world? Or has our definition of what makes news sunk to such lows that 25 minutes is wasted on a damn Cessna with busted landing gear in Marietta, Georgia?

Now the same channel has followed up with another 15-20 minute discussion/news piece on if fashion models weight should be regulated by the government. Are these the issues facing the country? We have a war going on where soldiers are being killed daily, a debt that is so far in the toilet it will take decades to get out of, presidential campaigns are starting up and moving across the country, the entire country of Somalia is and has been in anarchy for 12 years, and it goes on and on. Forget all of that though; let’s spend 80 percent of our news intake on fashion models, Cessna planes and crazy astronauts.

Remember when you would hear the "This is an NBC News special report" or something like that and you knew something serious has happened. It would almost always send a chill down my spine just hearing that. However, now everything from a car chase in LA (a daily occurrence) to a warehouse fire in New Jersey (another daily occurrence) are treated as "breaking news" and "developing stories".

Maybe it is because I sit next to the TV at work and am subjected to this each and every day. But I am so, so tired of all these stories and all this effort being wasted on such stupid, non-news stories that do not belong on the air. There has to be a better use for this very expensive airtime. Don't you think?

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Stop Everybody...Now, Panic!

So you know this thing in Boston? This thing where they shut the city down because they thought they had found some terrorist bombs? This thing were it turned out these "terrorist devices" were nothing more than advertisements for the show Aqua Teen Hunger Force? Yeah, that thing. So what did these terrible, horrible, fear inducing devices actually look like? I mean they must have been pretty intimidating to shut down an entire cities transportation network. Well, here is what they were:



Well at least if these lite brites were terrorist devices, they had a sense of humor about it. Nothing like getting blown up while laughing at a little cartoon dude giving you the finger. Here is the deal. I am a fan of the show this advertisement was for, I know who this character is and I find this entire situation entirely too hilarious on one hand, and entirely too overblown on the other. In the cartoon, excuse me, animated adventure this guy is part of a team of "bad guys" from the moon. They come to earth and get involved in ridiculously stupid and petty crimes in some plan to cause havoc. They are always woefully inept, however it appears they were able to shut down Boston.

Now do people in Boston just have beans for brains? Possibly. Before you chastise me for not taking this serious enough and applauding Bostons vigilance, let me let you in on an underreported facts about this. These "devices" had been up for three weeks, not only in Boston but in 11 other US cities, including New York City. How many phone calls to 911 were received? How many reports to the FBI made? How many bomb squads called to detonate a cartoon character? ). Zilch. Nada. Not a single call in three weeks about these devices. Not a single complaint.

I stand a 1 in 88,000 chance of being involved in a terrorist attack. I also stand a 1 in 77 chance of being killed in my car driving to work. We spend a billion zillion dollars on counter-terrorism, we have entire agencies devoted to stopping terrorist attacks, it dominates the news coverage everyday (especially Fox News, they like to really scare you). We spend a fraction, an almost infinitesimal fraction of the spending and resources we provide to anti-terrorism on the National Transportation Safety Board. We worry ourselves all day that we are willing to shut down entire cities based on just the mere possibility that some neon bar sign could be a terrorist device. Yet you never see political pressure put on our elected officials to put more funding into repairing roads, into regulating auto industry safety standards, into better enforcement for those who violate traffic laws. Nobody talks about that, we are all worried about getting blown up by a trash can. Why? Because that's what Fox News tells us we need to worry about.

I am willing to live with the small percentage chance that I could be killed in a terrorist attack. Afterall, I live with these chances everyday. I have a better chance of being hit by lightning than being in a terrorist attack. If having to give up some of the securities in my life in order to maybe prevent the widespread panic that sets in whenever a suspicious object is found, I am willing to do so. I would much rather see the resources, the money, and the coverage be put to such things as funding cancer research or heart disease research (the number 2 and number 1 killers in America). To me that seems a wiser place to put our efforts than wondering if that cartoon character giving me the finger is going to suicide bomb me.

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Monday after

This morning when i woke up the world seemed a little more gray, even though the sun was out. Even though it was cold, the cold seemed to bite at me just a little bit harder. The decorations that had gone up last night just seemed to have dulled. My case of the Monday morning blues seemed bluer. The taste in my mouth was so much more bitter, and the minor hangover this morning seemed just a little more painful.
The thing that hurts the most is actually seeing your team get to the Superbowl and lose. It would probably hurt less if we didnt make it to the playoffs. Being that close and seeing your team lose pulls at your heartstrings like the end of Old yeller and Dirty Dozen. Having to wait for so long for your team to be good makes it hurt even more. It was tough putting on my beanie, knowing the orange C logo atop my cold head would bring looks of ridicule. Waiting for the Shuttle to pick me up for work was a lonely wait. My heart dropped suddenly last night when I realised it was too late to come back. I sat in stunned silence, hat in bears blue pulled low over my eyes as if it ward off the imagery projected in my 50 inches of DLP HD on my Samsung official Tv of the NFL, but the tiny mirrors were not fogiving, as I was forced to watch it all unfold. I could still hear the tragedy unfold in Dolby digtal 5.1 surround sound. The only thing that made the night go by faster was that I was surrounded by good friends. Some not Bears fans, but supporters of a friend's team. Their teams being washed out in earlier phases of the 16 weeks of NFL season. The only thing that makes for a brighter outlook: two weeks until pitchers and catchers report for spring training, an NFL draft to aid my Chicago bears in the future, and Key elements like Lovie(Big Pimp daddy Bear)Smith, Brian(Big Bad Bear)Urlacher,and Olin(The O-line) Kreutz signed to long term contracts. thanks for the awesome season CHI-town.

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